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Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, HER Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed-Lori Gottlieb

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INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER!Now being developed as a television series with Eva Longoria and ABC!“Rarely have I read a book that challenged me to see myself in an entirely new light, and was at the same time laugh-out-loud funny and utterly absorbing.”—Katie Couric  “This is a daring, delightful, and transformative book.”—Arianna Huffington, Founder, Huffington Post and Founder & CEO, Thrive Global  “Wise, warm, smart, and funny. You must read this book.”—Susan Cain, New York Times best-selling author of QuietFrom a New York Times best-selling author, psychotherapist, and national advice columnist, a hilarious, thought-provoking, and surprising new book that takes us behind the scenes of a therapist’s world—where her patients are looking for answers (and so is she). One day, Lori Gottlieb is a therapist who helps patients in her Los Angeles practice. The next, a crisis causes her world to come crashing down. Enter Wendell, the quirky but seasoned therapist in whose of­fice she suddenly lands. With his balding head, cardigan, and khakis, he seems to have come straight from Therapist Central Casting. Yet he will turn out to be anything but.   As Gottlieb explores the inner chambers of her patients’ lives — a self-absorbed Hollywood producer, a young newlywed diagnosed with a terminal illness, a senior citizen threatening to end her life on her birthday if nothing gets better, and a twenty-something who can’t stop hooking up with the wrong guys — she finds that the questions they are struggling with are the very ones she is now bringing to Wendell.   With startling wisdom and humor, Gottlieb invites us into her world as both clinician and patient, examining the truths and fictions we tell ourselves and others as we teeter on the tightrope between love and desire, meaning and mortality, guilt and redemption, terror and courage, hope and change.  Maybe You Should Talk to Someone is rev­olutionary in its candor, offering a deeply per­sonal yet universal tour of our hearts and minds and providing the rarest of gifts: a boldly reveal­ing portrait of what it means to be human, and a disarmingly funny and illuminating account of our own mysterious lives and our power to transform them.

Book Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, HER Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed Review :



Love wins would be a better title for Lori Gottlieb’s fine memoir about her life and work as a therapist. Of course, the title of the book is less important than what's inside and this memoir that tells the story of Lori Gottleib and her patients holds our attention from beginning to end. One of Lori’s patients, Julie, is dying of cancer. Each week Julie comes for therapy to help her come to terms with her death. We follow Julie in therapy from her first diagnosis of cancer to her quiet death and few readers will not take a few moments to sit back and think about loved ones they have lost and then cry with Lori and Julie. When Lori talks with Julie about what matters most she says to Julie, “Love wins.” This is exactly what Julie’s dad had said to her when discussing how families overcome the many problems that come along and how they survive them. Her dad says to his daughters, “Because at the end of the day, love wins. Always remember that girls.”Love wins is at the center of everything Lori does. No, she’s not perfect and her memoir does not try to hide her own inadequacy as she faces the trials and tribulations of her own life. But Lori’s heart is in the right place and she knows that “it is only with the heart that one can see rightly. What is essential is invisible to the eyes.” With one of her difficult patients, John, the award winning screen writer who thinks that everyone is an idiot, Lori is patient and loving and love wins. Lori listens to John with her heart and sees in the depths of his being the love that is hidden there that only needs someone like Lori to recognize and then help John find his way home to the person he was meant to be. With John we laugh at his outrageous banter, which Lori captures perfectly, but then cry when the banter is replaced by the truth of John’s inability to cope with the death of his beloved young son Gabe in an auto accident.Now as I sit back for a moment and think about it, that’s what Lori’s book is about – laughter and tears, for that is what our life is – ups and downs, sickness and health, laughter and tears, and Lori has captured it all remarkably well. She is so skilled as a writer that we feel like she is talking to us and we can make conversation with her. I have written many reviews of English writer Anthony Trollope’s novels and I have said that Trollope, like Lori, draws us in to his world as he tells us about the predicaments his characters find themselves emeshed in, that “sweet flypaper of life” that Lori is caught in, but with help from her own therapist, Wendell, she extricates herself only to be caught again. But Lori has learned not to take herself too seriously. In her book we see her come to terms with her humanity. She knows that like her patients she often takes one step forward and two steps back. She says “all of us are trying our best to get out of our own way.”Lori’s memoir is meant to be read slowly and savored, sitting back from time to time as we examine our own lives and try to figure out how to get out of our own way. Lori tells us what we already know, that no easy answers exist for anyone. Long ago the Buddha gave us his First Noble Truth: Suffering – life is full of suffering. But the Buddha, Jesus, and all the great teachers know what Lori has shown so well in her memoir, that in the end, love wins. If we hold on to that great truth we will have the strength to face the challenges that are a part of all our lives.I wish Lori were here at my desk so that I could thank her in person for her wonderful book, but this review will have to do instead.
Baffled by the five star reviews. I am actually struggling to find words to convey how long and self indulgent this book is. The basic premise is great. Therapist weaves patient stories with her own for an engaging narrative about humanity. It's crippled by the author's utter lack of insight into her patients, and more so herself. Instead of compelling case histories she drones on and on for chapters about crying on her own therapist's couch, while skipping pathologically briefly over interesting things she seems to have done. It's 411 pages of her getting over being dumped. I'm actually getting irritated just remembering. Please buy The Examined Life by Stephen Grosz instead.

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